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We as a parish rejoice in the love
that you, as a couple, share for one another and the commitment that has
been made to bring you to this day in preparation for your marriage.
Your decision to be married in the Church is an indication that the
Christian faith and the sacramental life of the Church are important to
you. In the eyes of the Church, marriage is the sacramental union
between a man and a woman that is used in the Bible as the image of
God’s faithful love for ancient Israel (Isaiah 54; Jeremiah 3; Ezekiel
16) and Christ’s sacrificial relationship to the Church (Ephesians
5:22-33). Jesus Himself, together with His mother the Theotokos and the
disciples attended and blessed a wedding in Cana of Galilee, performing
His first miracle, which assisted in the celebration of that event (John
2:1-11). When we say that Christian marriage is a sacrament, we
use that word to convey the depths of the bond you are about to enter
into: a sacramentum in the ancient Roman Empire was the
oath of loyalty unto death that a Roman solider took to the emperor when
entering the military. As Christians, the sacrament of marriage is
your oath of loyalty unto death to each other and - as a couple - your
oath of loyalty unto death to our Lord Jesus Christ. Christian
marriage is intended to be a sign of God’s presence and love in this
fallen and broken world.
COORDINATING
YOUR WEDDING
Our
administrative staff will assist you with the necessary forms. They
will work with you in all matters pertaining to your wedding, including
setting the date, scheduling meetings with our senior pastor, Father
Steven Tsichlis, preparing the necessary church documents and collecting
all necessary fees. Please feel free to ask them any questions you
may have regarding your marriage here at St. Paul’s.
One of
our wedding coordinators will be assigned to your wedding and will lead
you through your wedding rehearsal and be with you on your wedding day.
She will put you at ease as she coordinates your procession and assists
you in any way possible. The fee for this service is $100.00.
SETTING THE
DATE
A couple desiring to be married should first contact the church office
to schedule an appointment with the parish priest. It is preferable to
schedule both your wedding date and meetings with the parish priest at
least six months prior to the desired date so that scheduling
conflicts can be avoided. According to the official policies of
our Archdiocese and Metropolis, weddings may not be celebrated during
the fasting seasons or the major feast days of our Church:
-
December
13-25 (The Advent and Christmas season)
-
January
5-6 (Epiphany)
-
February
2 (the Presentation of the Lord to the Temple)
-
Great
Lent and Holy Week (usually mid-February, the entire month of March
and part of April)
-
August
1-15 (the fast of the Theotokos)
-
August
29 (the beheading of John the Baptist)
-
September
14 (the Exaltation of the Cross)
-
The
Ascension
-
Pentecost
This is in keeping with
our ancient way of celebrating the Christian mystery in worship and
exceptions can be made only rarely, in extreme circumstances, with the
permission of the bishop.
Because marriage is a sacrament, weddings cannot be celebrated in a
spiritual vacuum. This, therefore, presupposes that:
1. at least
one of the couple to be married is an Orthodox Christian, baptized and /or
chrismated in the Church, committed to Christ and His Church and an active
steward for at least a year prior to the date of the wedding; and
2. the
intended spouse, if not Orthodox, be a Christian baptized in the name of
the Father, Son and Holy Spirit as commanded by the Lord ( Matthew 28:19).
Because of the
sacramental nature of the marriage bond (in which a couple not only pledge
their love for each other but also their love for Christ) a wedding
between an Orthodox Christian and a non-Christian may not be celebrated in
the Church.
NECESSARY PAPERS AND DOCUMENTS
The following documentation is needed to insure that your wedding will
meet the criteria established by the Church and local civil authorities:
1.
verification of the baptism and stewardship commitment of the Orthodox
spouse;
2.
verification of the baptism of the non-Orthodox spouse in a Christian
community that baptizes in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit
(for example, the Roman Catholic and, traditionally, mainline Protestant
churches such as the Lutheran and Episcopalian communities);
3. an
ecclesiastical marriage license; and
4. a civil
marriage license.
Please note that because
of the separation of Church and state, two marriage licenses are
necessary, one for the Church and one for the state. Also, please
note that because a civil license carries a time limit of 90 days in
Orange County, your civil license should be secured less than three months
prior to the desired date of the wedding.
IN CASE OF PRIOR MARRIAGES
If either of the parties has been previously married, the death
certificate of the deceased spouse or the civil divorce decree issued by
the state must be presented to the parish priest. If the prior
marriage was celebrated in the Orthodox Church and ended in divorce, then
an ecclesiastical divorce decree must also be presented.
THE WEDDING PARTY
The “koumbaro” or “koumbara” - the sponsor who will participate
sacramentally in the service by exchanging the rings and the crowns that
form an integral part of the marriage rite - must be an Orthodox Christian
and a steward of his/her parish. The “koumbaro” or “koumbara”,
if from another Orthodox parish, must provide a letter of introduction
from his/her parish priest certifying his/her active stewardship in the
life of the Church. Other members of the wedding party need not be
Orthodox.
THE BRIDAL
DRESS AND ATTENDANTS’ GOWNS
Care should be taken in selecting the bride’s dress. Since the
wedding crowns are an integral part of the wedding ceremony, headpieces
must not interfere with the proper placing of the crowns on the brides’
head. The bridal gown and attendant’s dresses should also exercise
a decorum befitting a Church ceremony.
NECESSARY ITEMS FOR THE CELEBRATION OF THE SERVICE
Among the items necessary to celebrate one’s marriage in the Church are
the following:
1. A pair of
rings
2. A pair of
“stefana” or wedding crowns; and
3. A pair of
white candles.
Some couples also choose
to provide a silver or gold chalice and tray. These latter items are
optional for the couple as the parish can provide them if necessary.
MUSIC
Although it is not essential to the celebration of this sacrament, organ
music has become a customary part of the wedding service in Greek Orthodox
parishes in America. The organist may play as guests enter the
Church, a processional for the wedding party and the bride and a
recessional at the conclusion of the service. The music played must
honor the Christian faith and be drawn from either the hymns of the Church
and/or from that tradition of classical music composed for the Roman
Catholic and Protestant communities. The parish organist, Mr. Roland
Jenster, plays for our wedding ceremonies. The church office has a
list of musical selections that have been approved by our senior pastor.
The chanter, by tradition, is an integral part of the wedding service in
the Greek Orthodox Church. St. Paul’s has several chanters. If you would
like to invite a chanter from another Orthodox parish to participate in
your wedding, please consult with the pastor prior to extending the
invitation.
A vocalist other than the chanter may sing prior to the beginning of the
service, during or just before the processional. We maintain a list
of several vocalists who have sung for Orthodox Christian weddings here at
St. Paul’s and if you like, we will give you those recommendations.
As with all music sung at the wedding service, it must clearly reflect our
Christian heritage and must be drawn from the Scriptures or the hymns of
the Church. Again, if there are any questions, please consult the
pastor.
Fees for the services of the organist and chanter are your responsibility.
Each vocalist establishes his or her own fee and you would pay him or her
directly.
VISITING CLERGY
Guest clergy may participate in a wedding at St. Paul’s. Canonically, it
is the responsibility of the priest where the wedding is taking place to
extend an invitation to any and all visiting clergy. Orthodox Christian
clergymen in communion with the Archdiocese are welcome to participate in
the celebration of sacraments at St. Paul's with the blessings of our
pastor.
Non-Orthodox clergymen from other Christian communities may not take part
in the celebration of the sacrament of marriage per se. It is the official
policy of our Archdiocese that clergy from other Christian confessions may
be acknowledged at the conclusion of the wedding service and invited
forward to the solea where they may offer a prayer and briefly address the
couple.
PHOTOGRAPHY
AND VIDEOTAPING
Photographs of your wedding are permitted but should not in any way impede
or distract from the celebration of the sacrament. Photographers
should not be conspicuous and should not use a flash during the services.
If you plan to have your wedding videotaped, please consult the parish
office and we will mail you a copy of the video guidelines.
PREPARATION
FOR MARRIAGE
In your meetings with the priest, he will discuss the sacramental nature
of the marriage bond, the Christian understanding of marriage as it is
expressed in the Scriptures and the marriage service itself. In
addition, preparation for marriage at St. Paul’s includes 6 sessions
with Tricia Krantz, a licensed marriage and family therapist, to help
support you in the process of preparing for your marriage. The fee for
each of these sessions is $65. All 6 sessions must be completed prior to
the day of the wedding. In cases where one of the spouses is not Orthodox,
the couple should plan to attend one of the many educational classes held
at St. Paul’s – Orthodox Christianity 101, the Bible Study, etc – in
order to be firmly grounded in the Orthodox Christian understanding of
life.
A NOTE TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM
To those spouses who are Orthodox: there is no substitute for Jesus Christ
in maintaining the dignity and sanctity of the marriage bond. For
the celebration of your marriage in the Church to be real, you must live
out, in subsequent years, the Christian commitment that you will make on
the day of your wedding. To those spouses who are not Orthodox: you
are always welcome here at Saint Paul’s! Please note that your
marriage in the Church does not automatically grant you membership in the
Orthodox Church. If you desire to become an Orthodox Christian this
must be your decision, made after much prayer and thought, in consultation
with the parish priest, and never for the sake of convenience. To
both of you: the Lord and this parish are here to help, support and
sustain you in your marriage bond and the life of faith to which we are
called as Christians. May the Lord grant you both many years
together in peace and oneness of mind and heart!
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